She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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