The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
