dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
