i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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