No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
