but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
