I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You smell like stripper and shame
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
