That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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