Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
