you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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