Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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