And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
