ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sorry about my life...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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