i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
