i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
