Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
