if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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