don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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