Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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