Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
