That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I want a musical about memes.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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