she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
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