Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
