Umm I'm too high to move.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.