i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
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Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome