I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.