I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.