He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
