We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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