He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
