Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
