I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
