I'm really into asian looking animals
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
