JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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