This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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