What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My pussy is not your playground.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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