you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
