FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
as a side note pls kill me
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