He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
