In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wish you could order shots online.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
