I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize