I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.