If i come over, it means nothing
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.