haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
