Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize