my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
