So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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