Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bring me that man meat
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize