You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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