I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
