All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
