I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
