Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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