in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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