I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
