You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
