Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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