Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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