Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
