thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
