in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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