your room smells of hookers.
And success
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Found the puke drawer
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I party with great urgency now.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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