I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my mouth tastes like poor choices
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How external is "for external use only"?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
