Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
